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“I can fix them!” said every person as they watched the person they love chug down too much of every bottle, knowing what comes after a momentary intoxication.
Loving an alcoholic and struggling with a toxic relationship is equally tricky as being in the position of the one addicted themselves. Every relationship begins with two people putting their best foot forward to impress each other.
There are lots of sunny beginnings, giddy butterflies, and whatnot. But the following stages of two people in a committed relationship, one where they slowly unravel into the person they were, becomes apparent. And if one of them turned out to be an alcoholic, that is a problem.
It’s impossible and unattainable to establish a healthy and loving relationship when your partner is super dependent on alcohol and other harmful addictions. Some have contemplated leaving their alcoholic partners but have many reservations. That’s because it’s not easy. It’s not that simple to move on and leave someone else’s life, even if they were an alcoholic.
If you want to spare yourself from the potential damages of dating or marrying an alcoholic partner, you must be sharp enough to know the price of being in love with an alcoholic.
The price of being in love with an alcoholic
Everything comes with a price. When we place ourselves in an unfavorable situation, we either put up with it or fight hard enough to get out and ultimately escape. However, those already too deep have it more complicated, which is another complex issue to discuss. Today, we’re elaborating on what happens when someone is head over heels in love with an alcoholic.
Here’s why love and bottles are a match made in hell:
Loving an alcoholic screams instability.
At some point, many of us desire to love and be loved. But when laced with desperation, deceit, and disrespect, that is not love anymore. That is ultimately the case of loving an alcoholic. Wanting them badly despite the consequences invites danger to your life. Because of their over-dependence on alcohol, they neglect themselves and everyone around them.
Dating or marrying them means swimming in a pool of instability, full of floating red flags you can choose to avoid; or dive into anyway. If you’re reasonable enough not to subscribe to that, avoid being involved with them while you still can.
Abuse is a staple in the relationship.
Loving an alcoholic means subjecting yourself to verbal, physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse. Their unhealthy codependency towards alcohol leads to an insatiable desire to have it no matter what. And if you fail to let them have their fill, you will automatically become their punching bag. Enduring it over time can break you in all aspects, and you don’t deserve to be a victim.
Being a constant victim of abuse can destroy your outlook and cause you to lose your sense of self. Regaining it will last a lifetime, and you shouldn’t have to do that when you’re not committed to alcohol yet. It is seriously a match made in hell, and abuse will be your third wheel.
There will be zero trust in each other.
An alcoholic partner will constantly lie and do questionable things to satisfy their thirst. Their paranoia will indeed affect you and hurt you for no reason. And to keep their partners on a leash, alcoholic partners often deceive and never live up to their promises. You end up not relying on them for anything you may need. Trust issues in a relationship are a recipe for disaster, especially when loving an alcoholic person.
It makes you question if it’s real love.
True love may have setbacks, but that doesn’t include loving an alcoholic, choosing to be with them despite the dangers, and enduring the abuse. The situation will make people doubt if they even deserve genuine love constantly. But for someone who’s too blinded to care, none of it matters. Now to break that thought, we need to be aware that loving an alcoholic is not love at all.
Lucky for you if you’re not fully committed to alcohol yet. It’s not odd to love, even with them. But in that case, you either have the choice to stay or run away.
Breaking the cycle of loving an alcoholic
Margaret Moschak’s book My Alcoholic Love testifies to the truth behind the reality of having a dangerously alcoholic partner. But even with its gruesome details of the addiction, there’s also a story about redemption and hope for the ones involved in this messed-up situation. Love doesn’t have to be messy; loving an alcoholic will surely be bad for you. Love must be accessible and peaceful. Love should not be harmful, and it must be pure.